In a recent YouTube video gone viral, “Boy Is A Bottom,” a trio of drag queens parody an Alicia Keys song while calling out some young gay men on their perceived preference to be sexually receptive. But a problem exists when these men are stigmatized, as well as permanently and exclusively branded as one role or the other. They are socialized to believe that, in a two-person sexual encounter, one person should play the dominant-penetrating (male) role, while another person should play the submissive-receptive (female) role. Men who penetrate other men are “tops,” while men who get penetrated by other men are “bottoms.” Gay men grow up in heterosexual worlds and are taught in school and from friends about straight sex. Over time, gay men have adopted these dominant and submissive roles, particularly with respect to sexual activity. This ideological structure is also reflected in straight couples’ sexual activities, where men penetrate women’s bodies - though men are capable of being penetrated by women as well. Straight men are expected to be dominant and strong, while straight women are expected to be submissive and soft, among other things. Traditional gender ideology demands that straight couples function in complementary and dichotomous ways.
